Jealousy

Jealousy blazing

An inferno raging

Inside this deep pit

Called my mind

It claws and scrapes

Like a parasitic monster

Inside my brain

Never leaving

Always clinging

Though I yell at it to go away

It wriggles and nags

And throws a thousand thoughts at me

Cutting me as sharply as

Daggers and blades

It feeds on my insecurities

Its roaring flames consuming me

Causing the lava to spill from my breath

This is my twin and nemesis

Her name is Jealousy

Abandoned House

I stop by your abandoned house for one last time

And the inside is devoid of the life that once filled it

Making it home.

 

The picture frames are cracked and falling off the wall

Like the memories they hold

And your smile, once wide, is now faded and dusty.

 

As I enter the kitchen

Where you once held me and called me pet

I noticed Grandads calendared pills still remain on the bench.

 

Meanwhile, the living room feels skeletal

With the bookshelf and cabinet both empty

And no cat hiding under the dinner table hungrily mewing.

 

The house smells moth-like

Just the way I remember

Which is comforting.

 

I miss this place

But more than anything

I miss you.

Somewhere/ Distantly Inside

Somewhere

Distantly inside

She traverses

Past entangling thoughts

Like vines

And depressing realisations

Like mines

 
Somewhere

Distantly inside

She unsheaths

Her long sword

Cutting through the vines

And, using her wit,

She defuses the mines

 
Somewhere

Distantly inside

She battles

Against dark demons

And goes on adventures

A victor uncelebrated;

Her story unknown.

My Demise

I sat on the edge

of the cliff with my 

legs hanging over

feeling free as if

I could fly if I 

happened to fall 

off. I would soar through 

the air like a bird

free from this weight they

call Reality.

I pushed myself

forward and flew to 

the dark abyss below.

My demise.

Anxiety & Depression

 

“I know everyone sees me as being loud, confident and opinionated but I suffer from depression. These traits are my coping strategy. If we haven’t spoken for ages doesn’t mean I don’t care, it means I’m not coping. I don’t like to ask for help as I don’t like to burden my friends and family.

“Having depression and anxiety is like being scared and tired at the same time. It’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. Its wanting friends but scared of socialising. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s caring about everything then caring about nothing. Its feeling everything at once then feeling paralysingly numb.”

-Kathryn Rice Ne Brazer.

10 Interesting Facts from (mainly ancient) History

1. You know how statues from the ancient world are famous for their marble look? What if I told you they were painted back in the day… (Here is a photo I took from the Museum of Classical Archaeology, Cambridge. On the left is a cast of the statue as it looks today and on the right is a depiction of how it would have looked when it was made.)

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2. Spartan men only participated in homosexual relations until marriage so upon marrying the woman was required to shave her head and dress in mens clothing as a way of easing him into heterosexuality.

3. “All European lines converge in the 10th century… For instance, Charlemagne is the ancestor of literally every European” (Rutherford). Similarly, anyone with Chinese heritage is descended from Genghis Khan. (Further reading: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2930277/Eleven-fathers-Asia-800-million-modern-men-descended-ancient-leaders-including-Genghis-Khan.html)

4. The Biblical creation story and the ancient Egyptian creation story are quintessentially the same, except one is monotheistic and the other polytheistic.

In the beginning God created the Heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void (Hu and Hauhet), and darkness (Kuk and Kauket) was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God (Amun and Amaunet) moved upon the face of the waters (Nun and Naunet). -Genesis 1:1-2.

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5. Christians in the Coptic Period practiced magic.

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6. The Greek word ‘δράκων’ used in the Bible is translated as ‘serpent’. While drakon is usually translated as ‘lizard’ it can also mean ‘dragon’ or ‘dinosaur’. Is this evidence for the existence of dragons in Biblical times? Also worth noting: dragons exist in every known mythology.

7. The Emperor Nero (AKA ‘Caligula’) made his horse consul (an important political position in ancient Rome).

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8. Images of penises were used in Pompeii as signs pointing the direction of brothels

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9. The ancient Egyptians believed the heart was the centre of thought. It was the only organ kept inside the mummy’s body. The lungs, intestine, stomach, and liver were preserved inside canopic jars. Meanwhile, the brain was thought as useless and thrown away.

10. There is a rumour that Countess Elizabeth Bathory, a serial killer from the 16th-17th centuries, bathed in the blood of virgin girls in order to retain the appearance of youth.

The Forest

A dense forest I walked through

Littered with sprouting shrooms

While the yellow sun was setting

This was the time I set a-trekking.

I listened in wonder

As I began to ponder

The songs of the forest kind.

A familiar verse sprang to mind

As the woodpecker drilled his beat

It was “The song of the golden seat”

And I whistled aloud the tune

Until, in the sky, hung the solemn moon.

It was then that I noticed a host

Of animals gathered/ Most

With their ears perked high.

I waved them a sad goodbye

And thence went on my way

Promising to return again another day.

The Shadow

The shadow is many things.

Depression.

The life you could have lived.

A dark cloud on a warm summers day.

A battlefield.

A murderer hiding in an alleyway.

A reflection of ones dark soul.

Or, quite simply, a lack of sunlight behind an object.